Bath slime. Jelly bath. Bath gel. Call it what you will… Why? Why is this even a thing? This Christmas my gorgeous sister in law and brother spoilt our girls with a package of presents and included in all these presents was a box of bath slime. Now, I’m assuming it was because they love their nieces and not because they hate me but after using it who can tell (just joking, seriously!). So for the past month I have been putting off using the bath slime, lots of showers, not many baths and I didn’t dare to mention it. I thought it might be fun to use a little in a tub of water outside sometime but my girls (the big one at least) felt differently.
Monday I made the tragic mistake of suggesting a bath instead of a shower, Rabbit was quick to say “Can we have our jelly bath from Uncle and Aunty, please????” Crap… “Um, I don’t know…. Get your Pjs ready.” I said trying to change the subject but she would not be distracted. She pulled the instructions out of the box “Here Mum, I’ll read you the structions!” she said, doing that adorable thing that children do when they have recognised that those funny little symbols on the paper build words but they can’t read yet and have no idea what a word is or how many words are printed on that page so they just run their finger along the lines of letters ‘reading’ however many words they want to fit into that many letters; “Look, step one, put the jelly dust in the bath water! Then step two, we have so much fun! Step three, empty the bath again! Please Mum! Please?” How could I say no?
So I properly read the instructions, filled the bath and sprinkled in the colourful crystals, swirling them around with my hands to dissolve them. At first it just felt like water, brightly coloured water but then the jelly happened and it happened fast. Have you ever wondered what a bath tub full of mucous would feel like? Well at a guess I would say it feels like a bath full of this slime stuff.
As the jelly thickened it slowly dribbled from our hands in long slimey strings. At first the girls quite enjoyed it but it got thicker and slipperier and soon Rabbit was not quite so keen. As they splashed around they were left looking like some ghostly foe had slimed them!
And of course I was getting caught in the cross fire of the slime splashing. When they tried to move around they slipped and trying to pull them back to sitting was like trying to fish out that broken bit of egg shell in your bowl of egg whites! At one point Rabbit thought it would be great to pour slime over Monkey’s head. It wasn’t.
Pretty soon they wanted out but how on earth was I going to pull these girls from their mucousy pool? How was I going to wash it off? If I lifted them out and put them in the shower they would slip for sure! I turned the water back on to try and dilute the jelly according to the instructions but all that really resulted was warm water floating on top of our pinkish mucous so how on earth was this jelly crap going to go down the drain?
Here’s where things got difficult – and probably hilarious had I been able to capture the moment on film – I had to pick up each of the slimey little people and hold them under the tap whilst the warm water washed the mucous away but holding onto a mucousy child, especially a tall one, and getting them under the faucet was no easy task! There was slime and water EVERYWHERE! The slime still wasn’t getting any thinner and I kept unthinkingly swishing my hands in the bath to wash the sliminess off so I wouldnt lose my grip on the children, which of course only resulted in us getting more mucousy. Probably the worst part was when I was bicep deep in the mucous trying to mix the water in enough to dilute it enough that it could safely go down the drain. I’m thinking I probably had a similar amount of mucous on me as one would obtain trying to pull a calf out of the womb. Calfing wasn’t high on my bucket list but I will tick it off now and not bother trying it again.
My advice is don’t use this stuff in the bath or be better prepared to somehow de-mucous the kids so you avoid recreating this scene from Poltergerist like we did.
PS Thank you for the awesome presents L & R, I truly appreciate how much you love our girls, even when you say it with slime 😉